Ferguson, a year later

I can't believe it's been a year since the murder of Mike Brown. I don't have anything insightful to say, but I do have a confession: This last year has shown me that my theology has failed. Many of the things I declared to be important to my Christianity seemed frail in light of all that has transpired since that fateful day in Ferguson, MO. I know I've been far slower to speak (which may surprise some, but its true), realizing I just don't know sometimes...make that most of the time. I feel like Job at the end of the book named after him: I sit stunned before a deity whose only answer to theodicy seems to be, "Sorry son, you couldn't comprehend the truth even if I told it to you." I've looked around at the theologians, scholars, and clergy who've I admired and seen that they're as low on solutions as I am. I've felt that the Churches and denominations into which I've put emotional and intellectual investment could merely offer me "insufficient funds" when I went back to these communities and traditions for ways to be a Christian in the United States at this point in time. I don't say this as a criticism, just a confession, one pointed inward more than outward. It says as much about me and how I've understood my Christianity as it does about anyone else or any institution or movement with which I've been affiliated.

I can't pretend like this has made me into a revolutionary. It hasn't. I see revolutionaries in news stories every week. I'm not one of them. I can merely hope to support them, to maybe follow their lead. I'd say I pray for them, but that seems empty at times. It's hard to ask the Creator to do something when many of us, myself included, barely act on what we know. I'm afraid to ask God to do something because God may turn that request right back toward me.

Anyways, enough about this narcissist. Thank you to my brothers and sisters, Christians and those of other faiths, or none at all, who've lived the type of theology I wish had been my own all along. I admire you and your work. I pray your vision for the world can become my own. I hope I can support you with my few resources. May the Creator Spirit be with you.

#RIPMikeBrown #BlackLivesMatter